Myself and Marie went into a local bar in Alleppey and, after convincing the security guard that yes, I did want to bring a girl into a bar, we were asked for our orders. It went something like this:
One Kingfisher Beer.
-Kingfisher beer, okay.
And a bottle of water please.
-*puzzled look*
Water.
-*another puzzled look, a guy from across the bar sees the difficulty and come over to help our waiter*
Just some water please.
-*two puzzled looks*
Water, from a tap *I make a tap motion*
-Sprite, sir?
Sprite, yes, sprite please.
We had a similarly amusing misunderstanding on our first day in Trivandrum. Myself and Dad walked out of the hotel to find a bar and, seeing none around, asked a rickshaw driver to take us to one. We got a “Yes yes” and hopped into the riskshaw. Along the road we went for about a kilometer and he pulls up beside a single coconut tree with one guy at the bottom selling toddy – a fermented coconut milk drink – straight from the tree. For the record it tastes like buttermilk and vodka. “No no,” we said “a bar to have a beer – kingfisher beer.” “Ah, yes yes, kingfisher” he said and of we went again for another 1k and pulled up outside a government off license with about fifty people crowded around the counter. After we explained that we wanted a sit down beer, he took us to a restaurant.
I have to say that I’m sick of Kingfisher at this stage. It’s pretty much the only beer you can get and where there are others they are all similarly tasteless lagers like Indian made Fosters. The country has no ale or stout or any beer with any taste at all, and wine in an insane price aimed only at tourists.
So anyway now we’ve moved back into the city of Madurai and I never thought I could see anything more hectic and bustling and dirty then Mumbai or Ernakulam but we’ve found it. The Lonely Planet says the this city has the worst traffic in India and, after Rome, the worst in the world. It’s hot, very dusty, filthy, and quite an experience. It’s all been a bit much, however, and we’ve spent most of the day in our quiet hotel. We did manage to get out to see the Meenakshi Temple which was well worth the hot ride down. It was grand and garish and full of colour. Pictures below. We’re planning to check out a few markets today but the pool (they have a clear pool!! First one in India.) is very inviting and there are markets in the more foot-friendly Chennai so that may have to wait.
eightyfish 
